The year is 2302, and the United States is suffering from an oil crisis that has never been seen before. Thousands of people are dying from the cold. General Carter has been sent into Iran by President Epson to take over the oil fields in that country.

    General Carter and his aide are talking and the aide is not sure the General is doing the right thing by blowing up the missile silos.

    “General Carter, what should we do now, we already blew up their missile silos, which was not a very good idea?”

    “Why not?”

    “Because it killed most of our troops and now we have to go get more.”

    “Fine, we’ll go get more troops, but where will we get them?”

    “The U.S., sir.”

    “Okay, back to the U.S.”

    Two days later General Carter was back in the U.S. looking for new troops.

    First he bribed potential soldiers with two hundred dollars, but that did not work.  Next he bribed them with three hundred dollars, and if they won this war they could have some of the oil that they would get. But that still did not work, so he decided to give it one last shot.   He gave them the offer of five hundred dollars and some of the oil, and to his surprise it worked.

    Finally, when he had one thousand troops he headed back to Iran.  When he got there he decided to plan a main meeting area and have them blow it up with Iran’s army inside.  But the bombs went off too early and did not end up killing anyone.  Then he decided to put two hundred fifty people in the south end, two hundred fifty people in the north end, two hundred fifty people in the east end, and of course, two hundred fifty people in the west end.

    Then later, as planned, Iran’s army went in the middle of where the U.S.’s troops were and then General Carter got on his radio and softly said, “FIRE.”

    BANG, BANG, BOMB, BOMB. . .

    When there was only one guy left (who was wounded), General Carter went up to him and said, “You know if you guys would have just shared some of the oil we would not have had to massacre your army.”   And then he shot him in the head.

    That night they loaded the oil, and headed back home, and hoped that the oil would warm up those people who were living with the cold.

    After General Carter gave his troops their money and oil, he headed to the other people’s houses and gave them some of the oil.  He hoped that the oil would warm them up, too.

    Later he headed back home to his family.  When he got there he said hello to his family.  They were so happy to see him, but just as they sat down for dinner the phone rang.  It was the President.  

    He said, “I’ve got another job for you.”